First 24-ish Hours

Another crazy day. Maybe not "crazy" exactly, just busy and more to do than I expected. It seems like it has been more than one day. Has it really only been 24 hours since my last post? Wow... and I thought I was tired before. haha I've heard it's a bigger change going from 1 to 2 kiddos than it is going from 2 to 3 kiddos. Let's just say, going from one to two was enough of a change in a short time.

When my alarm went off this morning I wasn't even sure I'd slept. I was a bit confused as to why it was going off so soon after I closed my eyes. The girls, on the other hand, seemed to sleep peacefully.

Lacey (our newest addition) hopped right up and was eager to go for the day. Maddie, not so much. Big surprise there. A couple more tries and she was out of bed, too.

I walked to my bathroom to brush my teeth while they were getting ready. I turn around and there is Lacey with a dress. "Can I wear this?!" She asked with an eager smile. It's a snowy 10ish degrees here. How do I tell her no without hurting her feelings? As carefully and caring as I could, that's how. I explain that it's too cold out for a dress; I don't want her to be cold. Let's pick something else.

The "something else" turned into a bit of a process. She had just gotten a new Hello Kitty short-sleeved shirt and leggings. Her second choice. Umm... again, it's 10 degrees... I thought let's throw some jeans on under the shirt (no thicker leggings to choose from) and add a sweater. Do you know how hard it is to match Hello Kitty pink? Pretty dang hard it turns out! A couple trip ups later, she has one of Maddie's thin jackets stuffed into her backpack, just in case she gets cold. Hair in a pony and boots picked out to wear. No toothbrush.

Her caseworker shows up to transport her to school (I'll spare you more details lol). She would stop by the office to pick up a toothbrush.  She informs me that we will be transferring her to our school district, and I'll need to sign a form. She will let her school know this will be her last day and I'll be there to pick her up at the end of the day. OK... I didn't take it as a definite, right now kinda thing. For some reason I was expecting that process on her end to be lengthy and she'd let me know more later.

Afternoon rolls around and still no sign or call. I text to confirm the plan. No answer. A bit later (sorry, I honestly have no idea of time) I call. No answer. By this time it is getting closer to 2... I'm thinking if I have to get things signed at the school I need to know a definite. Thankfully she calls back within a few minutes. Off to the school office it is.

To make a long story simi-short all the paperwork gets signed and turned into our school district. It's after 3 by now. We make a mad dash to Maddie's school so we don't miss her getting off the bus at home (we're not there!). I brief the secretary that they'll more than likely have a new student Monday (the lady at the central office seemed to think it would be finished in time).

Rushing to get to Lacey's school by 3:35 pm when they let out. We didn't quit make that time, but all was fine there. The ladies in this office hand me a packet of papers and say this is all her new school will need. OK. I explained the other school should be faxing them a form or emailing one to give permission for the papers to be transferred. I don't really understand why but they really wanted me to hand deliver this packet, and almost refused to fax them. I still don't get it. I guess they thought it'd be faster this way.....?? All still seemed well.

As we're on our way home the phone rings. It's the new school. Hmmm... not too concerned, figured it was just a question or 2. The secretary informs me she spoke to the principal and since her papers are not there they can't, by law, let her start Monday. (Insert head banging here. Thanks other school for not also faxing) I gladly offer to bring her the packet, we're in the car anyway. Apparently there are some kind of updates they have to make to their system for new students; it's lengthy I take it. The necessary people to make those updates are already gone for the day.... No school for Lacey Monday AND I still have to hand deliver the papers to the school Monday.  lol

Fast forward a few hours. It's 8 o'clock and we're at Wal-Mart. Why, you ask? A toothbrush.

The Call

This afternoon, while attempting a workout, my phone rings from an unknown number...
A few seconds later it beeped to notify me of a voicemail.
It was a caseworker at the Children's Division. She had a possible placement if we were interested. I called her right back to get more details. She told me the situation and as much detail as she could. Michael and I agreed to open our home to our first foster placement.

The hours after that were kinda a blur or getting fresh sheets on the bed and impatiently waiting for them to arrive. The call came before 4 pm and they had arrived about 6:30 pm. It was a rush of information and emotion.

Maddie and the little girl seemed to click right away; off they went as the caseworker talked to us a little more. The little girl wasn't showing any signs of being scared or shy at all. She seems perfectly happy, healthy and thriving. Maddie showed her around and they carried all her things into her room. Later she asked if she could show me one of her dresses. Of course! Then she had bracelets to show. She and Maddie have matching pj's and they thought that was pretty cool. 

At bedtime I suggested we read some stories. She offered her new book we could all read together. Maddie asked if she could sleep in the room also. She got the top bunk. My heart melted as Maddie and her new sister bonded. Maddie didn't want her to be alone in the room, how sweet. Makes my heart full!!

The girls were tucked in bed. I asked if anyone wanted hugs (didn't want to push). She thought for just a second and said, "I do!" I gave both girls hugs, turned on a recorded story and shut off the lights. 

I came to the computer to finish last night's blog. My heart was so full and so broken all at the same time. I hadn't quite processed it all when my friend texted. She said something I needed to hear. Another rush of emotion. I burst into tears. No one can prepare you for this, and it's just the beginning.

If I can make even a small difference in the lives of these kids who need to feel loved and safe, I'll know my heart drug me into the right direction. My "broken" heart will heal (sort-of). As long as I do what I can to give them what they need, even for a short while, it will be worth it.

PCOS to Foster Care

For some time now, years actually, I've had the desire to adopt (possible even before Maddie was born). It never seemed to be something we could do, it was always just beyond what I thought we could achieve. 

Somehow the notion (is that the word?!) of Foster Care came up in my heart. I ignored it, or tried. I remember having a discussion with my best friend November of 2015 and it just didn't seem right for us then.

Fast forward to late September- October of 2016. We were volunteering for our church "play." One of the other volunteers happened to show up with her foster child. (She was at the church's play the year before with foster children - when I was ignoring the feeling) Hours before this play practice/scene setup I had asked for prayers from a Facebook group I'm in (I was having a tough time and didn't know what to do. Prayers always help.)... Anyway, when I saw her with that baby... Idk, it was like a sign. A giant neon sign, saying "Misty, THIS is what you're supposed to do." Call me crazy. Tell me you don't believe. I do. 

She gave me info on whom and where to call. Within a couple weeks I had gotten a call back saying the first training night was the next evening! I'm telling you, a sign. It's like it all lined up perfectly.

We took 9 weeks of training. In mid-late December our classes were over; all our paperwork was in and home changes done, and we were licensed. We were put on "the list" the Friday before Christmas. It seemed like we would get a call any minute after. All weekend I remember being antsy for "the call"... it didn't come. If you're a foster parent you know that feeling.

Just last night my husband and I were talking about how long it seemed to have been since our classes ended, and still no call. We were a little confused. I remember thinking are we even on "the list" and maybe even looking back through email to check. We were.

Since 2011....

2011..? - I started this blog way back then, almost 6 years ago. I started it to "document" my journey, share my past, experiences, and my struggles. Somehow along the way I lost the reason I started this; to share with you. Maybe I was overwhelmed, sad/depressed, hopeless, or just plain pissed that I felt helpless. Either way....

I don't know if I ever finished the stories about the beginning. Probably not. Sorry about that to anyone who actually read this or was interested. Hopefully I'll get around to it... before 6 more years! haha

It's already 2017, holy cow. We're still the same family of 3, for now. Maddie is now 10. I can hardly believe how time has flown by! We have moved a couple times since then (I'm not even sure where we lived when I started this. lol)

***Once again things got hectic last night and I lost my train of thought. Go figure! lol

The BIG news (From 2005)

I couldn't wait. I had to share the news. I had taken 3 tests, not fancy tests btw, the cheapy-looking doctor's office tests. It was Christmas morning and I wanted to make a big deal of my big news. I quickly wrapped 2 of those tests in raisin boxes -of all things- filled with tissue paper, it fit perfectly.

We "got ready" for our Christmas day and handing out our "presents". We decided to stop by my in-law's house first. We handed his mom this tiny little wrapped box and said here is a present for all of you (six people & our little niece)! His mom was confused, "This is for ALL of us?" She has a look like how could anything in this tiny box be for all of us.... She slowly opened the box. I don't remember much after that, except a lot loud "oh my gosh" hugs, tear, and laughter.

On to tell my Dad....butterflies in my stomach..... If you know my Dad, you know he's not a jolly guy, kinda gruff and not at all emotional or "lovey dovey". My sister handed out all of the wrapped gifts from under the tree, taking the tiny package, without a label, over to my Dad. He said, "Who's this for?" We were all saying it's for you just open it first! "Well how do you know it's for me? It doesn't even have a name tag! Who's it from?" We told him who it was from and we all said, "Just open it!!" To which my Mom interrupted, without any negative comments. He slowly started opening the tiny package.... finally finding the small stick inside, looking a little more than confused. I remember my Mom asking, "Well, what did you get? What is it?" "It's positive," said my Dad. "What's positive? What is it?" asked my Mom. "It's a test... A pregnancy test, and it's positive! She's pregnant!" excitedly shouted my Dad.

I can't remember much after that, just excitement and joy. :)

My "Aunt" disappears...

Right after the Wedding, I forget exactly how long, I went off my BC. We were not TRYING, but we were ok if it happened. Soon after we were married my periods just stopped. For about 3 months or so. My mom worked at the Ob/gyn's office so she would communicate what was happening to the doctor. She told me to take a pregnancy test- of course BFN (negative). She said try a First Morning Urine pregnancy test-- again BFN. She gave me a shot of progesterone in oil. This happened the same was for those 3 months..... I had to get the shot to have a cycle. In December a friend of my mom's who happened to work in the OB department of the Hospital decided she wanted to do an ultra sound on me. She didn't see anything. Another shot of progesterone for me.

During this time the Doctor had done exams on me (of course). She thought or suspected I had PCOS, but I didn't have any health insurance at the time. I didn't get the official testing done, she just assumed that's what it was.

Later on a few months we decided we wanted to TRY and were really upset when it didn't happen. She gave me Clomid at 50mg, and another Rx to work with it (I forget the name!), nothing happened. Another cycle started-- another Rx of Clomid at 50mg..... again, nothing. The Third month we decided to double up on the Clomid, 100mg while watching for O (like usual).......... Nothing. I was crushed, beyond words. That was it, I was done. I couldn't do it anymore.

In July I think it was, we found out Michael's cousin was pregnant. We were excited for them, but sad for us. We decided to take a big break and let her have her time. Somewhere around this time my mom decided she was going to start Weight Watchers, and wanted some support. So I did it with her.... Over the Summer I had lost about 30 pounds. I didn't think much of it, just kept going along.......

December 2005- Christmas Time with the In-laws. My hubby's sister's Boyfriend (and baby's dad) decided to propose.... I was more emotional than she was. I shed a few tears and they asked why I was crying. I didn't know! lol Christmas Eve, everyone was sick with flu-like symptoms, just really sick. I didn't feel so well, but didn't think anything of that either. I never threw up, just felt awful.

On Christmas morning, for some crazy reason, I decided I would "test" - I didn't expect anything. I took the first test....... a dot and a line..... A DOT and a line?! WTH? I asked hubby what he thought. He was still half asleep and said "it looks like 4 to me!" hmmm....? I took another test-- looked like 2 lines to me... Hubby agreed. I called my mom and told her I need her to come look at my FMU. She said "Your what?!" My First morning urine... "Your first morning urine.... your urine?!" "Yes, mom my first morning urine.... My FIRST urine of the day! My FMU... Mom, my FMU!" "Your first morning urine..??.... Oh!!, Oh, oh, ooohhhh, oh, ok!!! I'll be right there!!" She got there and I dipped another test-- Quickly came up 2 lines! Soooo exciting!!!!!!

So much for "MY Plans"

Back to the Story of Love....

After that Prom night in May, I was hooked like a fish. I couldn't stop thinking about him. I wanted to see him or talk to him constantly... Summer was here and more time for us. Long walks and even longer talks on the porch. I'd say we fell in love kinda fast. After a little more than one month of boyfriend/girlfriend status, He said those 3 little words...... "I love You." We've been inseparable pretty much from then on. After 7 1/2 months he asked me to marry him.

We talked about our plans. We talked about our future. We agreed on pretty much everything.... 2 kids, maybe, depending on how things went, we'd try for #3. We even talked about names, and agreed on those!

1 year after Prom- our first date hehe- we went to my Senior Prom, then it was time for Graduation. Some tough choices had to be made. I stayed at home to go to a closer college. My dad and I got into a little fight 2 days after graduation, and I went to stay with Michael. The plan was to stay temporarily.... That plan didn't work out either. We moved into an apartment and have never stayed more than a few days apart.

During my HS years I went to the doctor for some painful periods that were "Off" and unwanted hair/acne & other common signs of PCOS. She brushed this off as me needing to lose weight. She didn't bother to test for anything else.

Fast forward a few years and we are FINALLY planning our wedding. We decided on an October Wedding- we both love fall!! We decided this in January or February.... well, we didn't start making real plans until like August! haha The Wedding turned out BEAUTIFUL, I couldn't have asked for more. I would like to have better pictures, but.... I didn't care about decorations or what anyone wore. My Uncle told me he was going to wear his greasy over-alls. I said, "I don't care what you wear!" He just laughed. I just wanted to marry my love, that was important, nothing else.