I'm a worrier. Big surprise

This has been a rough week for me, emotionally. Seemingly out of the blue the baby is at his first overnight with his mom. Monday the caseworker wasn't on board, but today he's at an overnight? I don't understand.

 There have just been some concerns surrounding the baby and his safety during visits, imo. I emailed the caseworker on a Friday night, I think it was, to voice my concerns. Monday my licensing worker (who I'd copied onto the email) emailed me saying she sent the email onto the caseworker's supervisor. Finally after a week of no response (after sending a text the week before) she responded.. She later called, too. We seemed to be on the same page. She understood my concerns and seemed to validate them. I thought .... well, I'm not sure actually. She just seemed to be thinking the same way I was... overnights did not seem like the next step just yet.

Yesterday the visit was supposed to end at 5 pm. When mom picked him up I asked if she'd be back at 5. She said she wasn't sure, but she'd let us know. I knew the cw (caseworker) was going for a visit at mom's, so I assumed this might be the reason she wasn't sure. Five o'clock rolls around with no text or call as to when they'd be home. At 5:30 I sent mom a text; no response. (This is not the first time they've been late. However, they aren't usually this late.) I'm more annoyed at this point that they haven't let me know what's going on. I then text the cw, who tells me she left there at 4, but she text them.... Finally at almost 6:30 they bring him home, no explanation (again) of why they were late. Then mom asks if cw has called about Sunday (Mother's day). And mentions something about an overnight.

She left and I panicked, but thought maybe she'd misunderstood.  No. The caseworker texts today saying they're having an overnight tonight. WHAT?!? Was I dreaming the phone call where she didn't recommend overnights? WHAT CHANGED?! I'm not sure of my response, but I tried to be nicer than I felt like being. I did not understand. The cw tried to reassure me "she's ready." Umm, if you say so..? Then proceeds to let me know it's not a regular visit on Sunday, it's another overnight. Are you kidding me? Can we please just get through the first overnight before we schedule the next...

Don't get me wrong. I am all for reunification of the kids, but when the bio parents are ready and able. Let's not rush this delicate process. In the beginning of this case we were told we would have him in our care for at least 6 months if not longer than a year. It's only been a couple months. This seems to be speeding out of control. I'm praying that I'm just a natural born worrier and everything is progressing along at a normal pace and above all he's safe and well taken care of.

It's a baby BOY!! :)

In the beginning of February we got a call for a newborn! A boy. We would have to go pick him up from the hospital. We thought he was brand new and of course said yes, with not much other information. We found out he was actually almost 2 months old and was being released from the NICU. The NICU team wanted us to come there to pick him up to teach us all about his care. (Which didn't end up being as frightening as it sounds.)

There was a family member that bio mom wanted him placed with. The caseworker (cw) had to check things and make sure it was a fit, but would let us know the next day (she still wanted to place with us if the family didn't work out). The next day the family was almost MIA in a way; cw said she was giving them 30 more minutes. The family ended up saying no to taking the baby.

After a little debate about road conditions, because of the snow we'd had, we were on our way to the hospital's NICU to pick up this brand new baby boy! I was full of joy and nerves. The cw was right behind us and going to meet us there.

We walk into the NICU, the nurse at the desk asks our names, takes our temps, and gives us directions on how to get to "our" sweet new baby's bed. As we are walking around the corner we hear this very upset baby screaming. The scream is coming from the direction of where the nurse sent us... Another 2 nurses are tending to this baby and we just kind of stopped in our tracks. One asked our names and confirms we're in the right spot. The screaming, tiny little thing is "our" boy. At this point the room fell silent to me and all I can focus on is his sweet face. Time stopped in that moment. I stood frozen, studying every tiny feature, even though it's such an upset face, right down to his tiny mohawk. What a great first impression; I'll never forget for sure! The definition of love at first sight.

He's affectionately nicknamed Dill Pickle (after asking him "What's your dill, pickle?"), or Baby Pickle for short. Baby P <3